The First Time She Drowned

December 21, 2015
Kletter’s emotionally devastating first novel portrays life under a domineering and narcissistic mother. Placed in a psychiatric hospital at age 15 by her family, Cassie O’Malley is terrified to leave her comfortable routine and friends when she signs herself out at 18 to begin college. Unable to cope with the expectations of college life, Cassie retreats further into herself, risking her chance for a fresh start until new friend Zoey and love interest Chris encourage her to socialize. When she begins seeing Liz, the school counselor, Cassie’s flashbacks point to a manipulative mother, absent father, and siblings caught in the middle of their mother’s battles for affection and control. Kletter frames wrenching moments between mother and daughter and troubling references to suicide with the murky outlines of Cassie’s childhood memories, suggesting how easily one’s life can spiral out of control when abuse is involved. When more disturbing memories surface, Cassie must decide whether to retreat into her mother’s destructive realm or embrace her friends and trust that she is lovable. A complex novel that ultimately uplifts. Ages 14–up. Agent: Catherine Drayton, Inkwell Management.

December 15, 2015
A teen who was wrongly confined to a psychiatric hospital for over two years struggles after she leaves and goes to college. Cassie's histrionic, image-conscious, abusive mother is the center of her daughter's universe in this poignant novel. As a young child growing up in a white family that "lived on the poor side of a wealthy town in Pennsylvania," Cassie does all she can to be seen in the same prized light as her older brother, but after a damaging experience with her mother's class-conscious aunt takes place, she eventually rebels, enraging her mother. The story opens as Cassie leaves the facility to which her mother connived to have her committed. At school she finds a true friend in her likable, goofy roommate, Zoey, but still returns repeatedly to the abrasive coping mechanisms that have allowed her to survive. Eventually, an unexpectedly helpful therapist is able to build a rapport with Cassie, and she remembers suppressed memories from her childhood. While there are realistic catalysts preceding this therapeutic revelation, including an intense make-out session with a boy she likes that ends in disaster, it seems to arrive a bit too conveniently, but the story's dramatic tension will keep readers engaged regardless. This heartfelt, lyrical debut will strike a chord with older teens who appreciate contemporary fiction. (Fiction. 14-18)

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January 1, 2016

Gr 9 Up-Cassie O'Malley is 18 and can finally (against medical advice) check herself out of the mental institution she was committed to by her parents. Having been admitted into her mother's alma mater, an anxious yet hopeful Cassie attends college. While there, she finds it difficult to make friends and go to class, because she lacks coping and social skills. As childhood memories bubble to the surface, Cassie begins to question her upbringing. Kletter's exploration of a dysfunctional family through the eyes of a daughter is raw with emotion. The storytelling moves forward in time with flashback scenes to fill in the character's backstory. The author expertly establishes the familial connections, but the development of new bonds in college moves jarringly fast, especially given the complexities of and attention paid to Cassie's relationships with her mother, brother, father, and other extended family members. This book could contain triggers for students who have experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a relative. It is a sophisticated read that-given more pages to develop in the collegiate setting-could easily be placed on new adult shelves. Great for fans of Stephanie Kuehn's Charm & Strange (St. Martin's, 2013). VERDICT Sophisticated readers who enjoy dark realistic fiction will be satisfied by this lyrical novel.-Stephanie DeVincentis, Downers Grove North High School, IL

Copyright 2016 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from February 15, 2016
Grades 8-11 *Starred Review* The first time Cassie drowned, she was six years old. Desperate for a bit of her mother's attention, she leaped into a pool without her life preserver. Tragically, yet true to form, her family piled into the car and almost drove away without her. Cassie continued drowning in her mother's disdainful neglect until, at 15, she was delivered to a mental institution. Now Cassie is turning 18, free to leave the hospital and ready to take up her mother's unexpected offer of college. But Cassie is still drowning, literally and figuratively, as she suffers through pneumonia and memories of her family's twisted dynamics. Why was she forced into a mental institution? Was she truly out of control, or was she coldly manipulated by her mother? Kletter's excellent debut novel incorporates the dubious reliability of Cassie's narration with the psychological mind games played her cruelly self-absorbed mother. Cassie is continually on the verge of such heart-wrenching pain that she does seem to drown, over and over again, in fury and denial. Readers who enjoy the suspense of unreliable narrators, as in Adele Griffin's Loud Awake and Lost (2013) or Stephanie Kuehn's Complicit (2014), will appreciate this one.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)

January 1, 2017
Cassie, now eighteen, releases herself from the mental institution where her mother put her over two years ago to attend college. But Cassie's well-being suffers as she tries to rebuild her relationship with her toxic mother. While powerfully depicting the trauma of abuse and the challenges of recovery, the conveniently timed flashback that facilitates the story's conclusion feels like an obvious plot device.

(Copyright 2017 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)