So Sorry for Your Loss

January 30, 2023
Journalist Gachman (Brokenomics) delivers a poignant, personal exploration of grief. After the author lost her mother to cancer and her sister to alcoholism in the span of two years, she was forced to acknowledge that “grief would become part of me, instead of something I had to conquer.” Gachman gets up-close to the emotional vagaries of loss, recounting how, after her mother’s death, she’d find herself crying during a Geico commercial one moment, and emotionally numb the next. Both reactions are normal, she writes, as “grief, like life, doesn’t always have to make sense.” Elsewhere, she discusses how finding reminders of the dead in one’s daily life can “keep the love we felt and feel” alive, considers the value (and limitations) of seeking psychological help, and lays out small ways to help others in mourning. Gachman perceptively puts words to the uncomfortable realities of loss—“Death was not glorious and wondrous... it was a blunt object, lurking in the corner”—and deconstructs its social myths, helping readers feel less alone. Those facing loss will find solace here.

June 10, 2024

With its punny title and casserole cover, journalist Gachman's book promises a wry take on death and grieving. It's primarily a collection of autobiographical essays rather than self-help (Gachman admits that she doesn't have a plan for getting over grief), but the author nevertheless sprinkles in helpful hints (express honest sympathy, not platitudes) along with statistics; historic anecdotes (court members of both Queens Elizabeth I and II are mentioned); formal studies (a 2017 Kaiser Family hospice care opinion poll; a Census Bureau community survey); journal citations; quotes from experts; songwriters and lyrics; pop culture references; and even comforting recipes. The result is poignantly honest and often morbidly amusing but overall a peripatetic mishmash. Perhaps the hodgepodge is the point: grieving is, after all, nonlinear, enigmatic, and individualized. VERDICT Readers looking for how-to practical advice should look elsewhere. However, if read as autobiography or possibly even humorous essays, Gachman's book delivers an offbeat offering of comfort, laughter, and peace by sharing how she is living with grief. Includes notes and suggested resources.--Rita Baladad

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